Me vs. the bird: a story in tweets

Act I: Prelude

In my shopping cart tonight: tomatoes and tallboys. Spaghetti for tonight; beer can chicken for the rest of the week.

Act II: Tragedy!

It is now official: God does not want me to roast chicken.

Seriously. My beer can chicken tipped over in the oven, filled the kitchen with smoke, and just now suddenly EXPLODED. You win, bird.

exploded? Now I have a new cooking fear.

I heard a loud BANG, and my chicken, which had been sitting atop the stove, was on the ground with a big gash in the back.

Stupid chicken.

Act III: Hilarity

God does want you to roast chicken, it's Sarah Palin that is sabotaging your efforts. Damn you Sarah Palin

@ THAT's why my chicken exploded! Sarah Palin shot it from a helicopter!

She can see your oven from her house


more evidence to support my controversial theory that God is a chicken.

God likes to launch Himself from my stove and commit seppukku on my not-so-clean kitchen floor.

mysterious ways indeed


I know it's not funny and a huge mess but I def laughed out loud. Chkn 1, Kelly 0.

Seriously, show that damn chicken who's boss!

Clearly, the chicken is the boss.

The chicken got the best of you tonight. But you'll come back stronger.

It won the beer can battle. I'll win the lean protein war! I shall fight on the beaches, I shall fight on the landing grounds ...


that steel reserve was the death of the chicken!!! That beer can knock even my dad down:)


Positive attitude: The beer looks tasty, if a bit warm. TC

I drank half the can as part of my prep. Not bad!

As always, Kelly I love your 'tude. Now if you would have eaten 1/2 the chicken before the beer-butt challenge I would worry.

Act IV: Advice

I have a stand for beer can chicken if you want to use it


ive been trying whole chix since oct or so. I like my old way (cut up, sear, finish) much better.its pc vs mac (control v ease)

@ The only luck I've ever had with a whole chicken is in the slow cooker.
I did THIS a few times and lliked it. (sorry, the recipe is from a mag)


whole chickens are evil.

Act V: Bedtime

Twitter makes me feel better about exploding a chicken. Thanks, guys.


You are an obsession, you're my obsession

It's been a while since I've posted a music video review up in here, but this one TOTALLY merits the revival of the feature.

  • OK, first of all, the song itself is genius. ("I will have you. I will have you. I will find a way, and I will have you." Poetry!)
  • The very first shot is of a giant jester shoe tapping out the beat. Conceptual! (0:00)
  • The hair, the shoes, the keyboard, the outfits, the lighting - everything is SO VERY '80s that it makes my hair crimp a little just watching it. (0:05)
  • Antony and Cleopatra are just hanging out with their backup band at their friend's pool overlooking LA. Which makes total sense, but what's with the pirate? (0:56)
  • OMG ELECTRIC HEXAGONAL DRUM KIT MANNED BY DUDE WITH TWO-TONE MULLET my hair just spontaneously permed itself. (1:17)
  • Hang on, now two-tone mullet guy is the guitarist, and he's providing the soundtrack to some sort of epileptic seizure? (1:30)
  • Even though the video was obviously thrown together in a day, using a friend with a pool's home and whatever costumes the band could scrape up, it kinda looks like male singer guy isn't in on the joke. (various, but especially 1:35)
  • Now a spaceman is having the seizure, and he's being watched over by a man with plants growing out of his hat. ... Cool. (2:03)
  • The jester is clearly the hero of the piece - he has the courage to drum on Cleopatra's head, and he's rewarded by having his foot appear in the opening scene. (2:16)
  • Silver Venetian blind shades at night FTW! (2:52)
  • Someone thought the shot of the pirate raising his eyebrow was GOLD, Jerry! (3:34)
  • And then, all the crazy characters disappear, leaving their costumes behind. Maybe ... they transcended matter and evaporated into pure states of awesome? (This is definitely what happened.) (3:52)

Sorry, all other '80s music videos. The bar has been set, and I doubt you can pole-vault that well, seeing as how you don't have arms.