Because I've had the book for six days now and have read only two chapters. And I'm a fast reader, dammit! But ooh, the first chapter is so good. And ooh, the second one is good too, even though I don't think Snape is "hot" like some people do. I'm also digging how Rowling's prose style is becoming more complex; she's acknowledging that her readers, in addition to her characters, are growing up.
Here is a Harry Potter-related story to keep you busy until I finish reading the book and go into hyper-plot-analysis/when-the-hell-is-the-next-one-being-released mode:
I went to the release party at Barnes & Noble with Stacie and Stephanie. We got there about 11 (it would have been earlier, but the guy ahead of us at the McDonald's drive-through ordered seven Crispy Chicken McSomething-Or-Others, and it was one of those inescapable single-lane-surrounded-by-a-wall-and-a-moat drive-throughs, so we spent probably 20 minutes sitting behind this minivan breathing in carbon monoxide. At one point, I suggested to Stacie that the fumes were making me high. She thought I was being serious - which I so wasn't - and launched into a long tirade about how no one who says they're high is ever actually high. Perhaps she was high).
The store was, of course, full of kids in costumes and adults (mostly) without costumes. We saw a guy walking to the bathroom with what really, really looked like a live tarantula crawling up his shoulder, but when we saw him on his way out from the bathroom, it had gone. My favorite costumes were worm by two adults who had dressed in the sort of outlandishly inappropriate clothing wizards would wear if they were trying to pass for Muggles. Bloody brilliant, I say.
In case you're wondering about the look I went for, I wound up dressing in "none of the above" - black tank top, black capris, gold beaded slippers.
Oh, and just who is that guy with the kinda floppy brown hair who works in the cafe? He's adorable!
We had a line number, and the manager was having us line up 25 at a time. When our turn came, we made our way to the line and asked an employee if we were supposed to go in order of our number (we were near the front of our group) or just go to the end of the line. They said, "End of the line." Stacie said, "Are you sure? Because I thought I heard them say something about lining up in order of your number." They said the end of the line was fine.
So we're standing there, and the manager starts asking where specific numbers are. We speak up, and he says, "Come up here." And then he's rude to us! "You need to be listening when we make these announcements." Stacie said "We did listen - to your employees who told us to get in the back of the line!" But I don't think he was listening.
Then we got up to the cash register, and the cashier was all freaked out that the three of us wanted three books, but Stacie was paying for two of them (she bought Stephanie's book as a birthday present). The cashier said, "Well then, who's paying for the third one?" I raised my hand and tried not to roll my eyes. When the transaction was complete, I thanked her for staying late for us.
And as we walked back past the employees who had told us to get in the back of the line, Stacie explained to them that their mistake had gotten us in trouble with the manager. They suggested we should have punched him in the face. I considered punching them in the face. I was about ready to kill everyone who's ever worked for a Barnes & Noble. Except the coffee guy. He can live.
But the point is, we got out relatively unscathed with books in hand. So now I think I'll go begin Chapter Three. Hopefully I can finish the book before I am inadvertantly exposed to any spoilers.