11.20.2009

Nerrrrrrrrd!

Your result for The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test...

Pure Nerd

78 % Nerd, 48% Geek, 26% Dork

For The Record:



A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.



You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.



The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.



Congratulations!





Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:



Buffy the Vampire Slayer




Professional Wrestling






Love & Sexuality




America/Politics




Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

Take The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test at OkCupid

11.14.2009

Unboxing: Random movie stuff

Last night I took my friend Sue to a fundraising gala for my employer's charitable foundation. I've never been to a gala before, so that was fun! There was a pasta bar! Free drinks!

And of course, there were several ways for those in attendance to give more money to the foundation. Like the silent auction, which had packages ranging from "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa Beanie Babies" to "diamond necklace." I bid on (of course I bid on) a package called "Harry Potter and the Film Memorabilia," a Gryffindor scarf and Hogwarts messenger bag filled with unseen random stuff from other movies. (It was donated by a co-worker who used to work for film promotion company The Owens Group.)



I'm kind of surprised I won with my paltry bid, because the bag on its own is pretty nice.



And hey, now I have a scarf to go with the Gryffindor hat Jeff bought me!



But what crazy movie tie-in promotional items are hiding inside? Let's find out!

(I love this kind of thing.)




We've got hats! Hats from LOTR, Spider-Man 2, and ... what's The Express?




A DVD of Resident Evil: Apocalypse. I have mixed feelings on this one. On the one hand, free DVDs are great! On the other hand, zombies are very scary.




A travel coffee mug from The Proposal. (There was coffee in that movie for all of about 5 minutes, but I guess when you're looking for a tie-in promotional product for your movie, a speedboat or a horrible wedding dress doesn't work so well.) I will totally use this - if the lid doesn't leak. (The lid's going to leak; I can tell. The lid always leaks.)




A flashlight for 30 Days of Night. Clever girl.




A tiny speaker set for your iPod, for August Rush. I hear that movie is terrible! But the speakers are kind of neat.




Fred Claus mug. Wait, what?





Wow, that's terrifying.




Hahahaha - the novelization of the movie Beowulf! This is a thing that exists! (It's written in the present tense, which is something you don't see that often in novels. Also: HAHAHAHAHA!)




And finally, two T-shirts - one from We Are Marshall, and one from ...



AWESOME! The Incredibles! My favorite Pixar movie is now my favorite casual T-shirt!

Well, that was a fun little grab bag! I'm very happy I was able to get it by donating a a bit of money to charity. Maybe (if you're lucky) I'll do some sort of blog contest to give away a few of the items. (Hmm, what sort of contest has a Fred Claus mug as its prize?)

11.06.2009

Pub crawlin'

At Animations.

11.03.2009

Nein on 9!

11.02.2009

Vote the K-Hud ticket

So, we've got an election coming up. To celebrate the first-ever Election Day in which I've not been professionally discouraged from expressing political viewpoints, I had been planning on doing an official "Kelly to the Max!" endorsement list.

And then it occurred to me that I know basically nothing about the candidates. I'll look them up after I post this, and they'll all say they're in favor of ducklings and against tsunamis, and I'll vote for whichever identical-platitude-spouting candidate is a member of the political party with which I identify.

(Unless! Keep this in mind, future political candidates, because I know that my vote is very important to you. I will NOT vote for you if you do not have a website. If you've made no effort whatsoever in this arena, I assume that you'll make no effort whatsoever to govern effectively. We are living in the future, people; being able to buy a domain name and have it rerouted to your Wordpress blog ought to be an entry-level requirement for civic authority of any kind.)

Also, I will vote for the one candidate I've met socially. (I make important decisions this way. America!) And I will not be voting for the candidate who high-sticked C. Trent Rosencrans in between the legs during a broomball game.

So without further ado, I present: The Kelly to the Max! Issue-Only Endorsement List!

Ohio Issue 1: Yes.

"It's time for someone to have the courage to stand up and say: 'I'm against those things that everybody hates!' "
One of those things is not taking care of veterans when they come home from fighting.

Ohio Issue 2: No.

This is a weird amendment - the Ohio Farm Association is for it, but the adorable dairy down the road is against it? (You can pick up their milk at Whole Foods, by the way.) The governor is for it, but the Humane Society is against it? So I was leaning toward no anyway (I like the governor all right, but I also like the Humane Society), but what convinced me is actually someone on Twitter asking, "Why exactly do we need a constitutional amendment for this thing?" Good point. I'm suspicious of any state constitutional amendment that feels like something that could be hammered out in the Legislature. (Unless it gives money to veterans, apparently.)

Ohio Issue 3: No.

Ugh, this puts me in such odd company - it seems like the most vocal opponents of Issue 3 are the sort of fun-hating weirdos that banned dancing in Footloose. (I saw a "No on 3" commercial last night; it looked like a Jack Chick tract.)

I don't think that casinos will increase the baseline level of sin in the state or whatever, but I do think that casinos are overestimated as an economic magic bullet, that the jobs created by new casinos are mainly low-wage and low-prospect, and that casinos tend to drain more money out of the local economy than they pump into it.

I also think about my grandpa, a regular visitor to the Grand Victoria casino in Rising Sun, Indiana, and I wonder ... would this downtown casino have free parking? Because my grandpa sure isn't going to drive downtown and wander around looking for a parking space when the Grand Victoria has a huge parking lot and a shuttle that'll take him right to the door.

Issues 4-7: Yes.

Yes to MR/DD services. Yes to one of the top museums in the country. Yes to the public library!

Issue 8: No.

Issue 8 should be renamed "Issue 9, but with water."

Issue 9: No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

And I'm gonna quote this one at great length, because it sums up my thoughts nicely:

Whatever you think of a streetcar system in Cincinnati, Issue #9 is a mind-boggingly bad piece of public policy. The small, craft brewers we all want to start brewing here (not to mention the ones we already have) need a strong social and economic base from which to draw customers. What major corporation really wants to be in a city that has to throw it out for a vote if the local zoo wants to extend its train to the new parking lot? Heck, what small business wants to put up with that?

Remember the phrase “That’s no way to run a railroad?” Issue #9 is definitely no way to run anything. Ballot measures are an awful way to make long-term public policy, unless you happen to think California (land of the 10,000 ballot initiatives) is a place you want to emulate. Elections are expensive. They take a long time to organize. Once underway, facts have little to do with the outcome.

Amen to that! I know I hate elections! Wait, why am I even writing this?

And that's all she wrote, folks! When you go to the polls tomorrow, vote the same way I do on everything, or else we won't be friends anymore!

11.01.2009

Fall drive

Happy November!

10.22.2009

The message and the messenger


I've been thinking about those "I Love Cincinnati" bumper stickers lately. You've probably seen them around, and you might have seen blog posts about them as well.

The stickers started popping up out of nowhere earlier this year, and of course I wanted one, because I also love Cincinnati! I really do! And whenever I saw a sticker on someone's car, I felt like that person and I were in a secret club, a sort of fraternity of Cincinnati lovers. "Yeah," I would think, "that guy and I know what's up!"

But a few months ago, I learned that the stickers come from Crossroads Community Church, and suddenly that was all I could see about them.

It's not just that the messenger became strongly associated with the message; it's that the messenger traded places with the message. So when I see an "I Love Cincinnati" bumper sticker, I no longer think, "That's nice - that person really loves this community! So do I! Hugs for everyone!" Instead, I think, "Ah, that's from Crossroads."

And so it turns out that the secret club I thought I was in is something else entirely.

And I have absolutely nothing against Crossroads (did you know they offer nice coffee and free yoga classes to everyone, including non-members? That is pretty great of them!), but I no longer want a sticker, because I feel like the sticker would broadcast an affiliation between myself and Crossroads that doesn't actually exist. Like, maybe I would be in the grocery store parking lot, loading up my weekly purchase of 800 cans of diced tomatoes, and some stranger would walk by and say, "Hey, Crossroads!" And then I would have to explain myself.

It's a little bit like when someone compliments me on the T-shirt I got at a Sufjan Stevens show, which says, "Come On Feel the Illinoise!" Whenever that happens, I have to figure out whether they're responding to the message (silly puns on state names) or the messenger (ethereal indie-folksters).

Is there anything else like that out there?

10.11.2009

My coming out story (kind of)

Years ago, back when I was just knee-high to a Bachelor of Arts degree, I came home from college for the weekend. On that Sunday morning, I went to church, and after the service a boy I knew from youth group came up to me. He asked me if I remembered a debate we'd had on a retreat in high school - something about whether gay people can have faith.

I didn't remember that conversation, but I knew what I must have said: something along the lines of, "OF COURSE you can be gay and still have your faith, because you're still a person, and it's just a part of who you are - not a sin, not a turning away from God." Apparently, this boy had taken the opposite view.

So I don't remember the original conversation, but I remember that day in the church, when this boy, who had always been sullen and awkward and now looked happy and confident, like he finally belonged in the world, smiled at me and said, "Well, you were right." And he came out to me, there in the church aisle.

Today is National Coming Out Day, and not being gay doesn't mean you can't "come out" as an ally. You might not find out until later how much it means to someone.

10.07.2009

Lies my Greek mythology book told me

I have this idea that at some point I'll start blogging some of the excellent sci-fi novels I've been reading for my summer (OK, now well into fall) self-assignment, but first, I want to talk about a book I recently took time out to reread. It's a book I adored as a child.

(Have you ever done that? It's kind of amazing, isn't it - how much books can change between your decades-old remembrance and your adult rereading. I can't wait until one of these tiny late-Gen Y-ers goes back and reads the Harry Potter series a decade later.)

Anyway, the book I just finished reading is D'Aualaires' Book of Greek Myths, and it basically forms the foundation for everything I know about Greek mythology. It contains a huge variety of myths, all gorgeously illustrated.


(I remember trying to sketch the illustrations from the book myself and producing a fair imitation of Artemis. The book, incidentally, was passed to me and my sister by our mother; we later came across an old sketch pad of hers that included an excellent rendition of Helen of Troy.)

It is hard to overstate how much this lovely book shaped my young mind. Years ago, the original book was flung across a room by my sister, which tore it apart; recently, hearing how much I had loved it, she bought me another copy - so I got to read it again.

And since it's a book intended for children, there are parts that are really, really funny now. The story of the Minotaur is probably my favorite example:

But Queen Pasiphaƫ was so taken by the beauty of the bull that she persuaded the king to let it live. She admired the bull so much that she ordered Daedalus to construct a hollow wooden cow, so she could hide inside it and enjoy the beauty of the bull at close range.

And the illustration is of Pasiphaƫ sitting inside the wooden cow, peeking over the top of it and just looking at the nice bull. Hello, nice bull! How are you? And then, it's so weird how Poseidon is all mad and makes her miraculously pregnant with the half-man-half-bull monster somehow!

Also, this hand-waving of Zeus and his many affairs is pretty funny:

Zeus loved Hera dearly, but he was also fond of rocky Greece. He often sneaked down to earth in disguise to marry mortal girls. The more wives he had, the more children he would have, and all the better for Greece! All his children would inherit some of his greatness and become great heroes and rulers.

AWESOME. Fellas, definitely try this line (do not try this line) the next time your lady catches you stepping out on her. "I love you, sweetie, I do - but if we ever want this nation to prosper, it simply must be populated with my offspring!"

But the book is still a fantastic read. Here are a few more observations from this time around:

- My favorite story is still that of Melampus, the hero who could talk to animals. He gets his power in repayment for a good deed, and unlike so many Greek heroes, he never experiences that whole hubris/fall from grace thing. (He totally overcharges a king for saving his daughters from madness, though. Wikipedia suggests the women were dangerous, but the D'Aualaires describe them as more embarrassing than anything else; all they do in the book is run around mooing and shouting, "We are cows! We are cows!" So I guess we could chalk that up to Melampus taking advantage of the king's pride.)

- My other favorite story as a kid, the tale of Selene and Endymion, is just creepy now. If it happened today, Endymion would write a tell-all book, Roofied by the Moon.

- People remember Heracles' immense strength, but I had forgotten how clever he is. Over the course of his 12 labors, he had to figure out how to kill any number of strange beasts that revived in unusual ways, he figured out how to use water power to do one of his tasks for him, he understood the implications of capturing one of Artemis' sacred hinds and never loses patience while pursuing the creature, and he tricks a Titan. He basically never screws up - all the trouble in his life comes from jealous interlopers.

- The story of Jason and the Argonauts is like the Real World/Road Rules All-Star Reunion Challenge of Greek myths. Everyone is there. Sure, Heracles is there! Two winged children of the wind, why not? Oh, and Orpheus is there too! ... I know I said he was torn apart by Menaeds, but that was later on!


Anyway, if you would like a beautifully illustrated, squeaky-clean retelling of a ton of Greek myths, this is your book. I'm so happy I have a copy again - thank you, Katie!

(All images come from this site.)

10.04.2009

The new gig

Well, that wasn't so bad.

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you probably know that after two months of unemployment, I got a new job! I've been there for three weeks now. My title is either Creative Writer or Copywriter - but the gist is, I'm the new Girl Who Writes Things What Needs Writin'.

My new employer is a local company called Pure Romance. If you're not from Cincinnati, you might not know much about Pure Romance - they're in the business of home parties, like Pampered Chef or Sil-whatsit, but they sell a line of products that some people would describe as "relationship aids." (Actually, some people would prefer not to talk about them at all, thank you very much.) Massage oils, lubricants, bedroom accessories - "those" parties, as a consultant might tell you. (It's a popular phrase among consultants, and it's easy to see why: It allows discussion of the subject without any potentially disquieting words, and it feels conspiratorial. You want to be invited to one of "those" parties.)

The response to my new employer has pretty much fallen into two categories: "Oh? ... Oh. Whoa." or "That is awesome!" As you can imagine, I fall into the second camp. I can't wait to use it as a small-talk point at a party.

So far, it's interesting work. Each Pure Romance consultant basically runs her own franchise - everyone buys the standard product line from corporate, but they can choose to offer additional discounts or incentives for hosting a party. There are also optional marketing materials, like postcards and brochures, that can be purchased. So that means that I might write a postcard intended to be sent to Pure Romance customers, and then I could turn around and write a business article about how the postcard could be beneficial to a consultant's business.

(So the work is interesting, but probably not as interesting as some people imagine.)

The new office building:


The new desk:

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