10.07.2009

Lies my Greek mythology book told me

I have this idea that at some point I'll start blogging some of the excellent sci-fi novels I've been reading for my summer (OK, now well into fall) self-assignment, but first, I want to talk about a book I recently took time out to reread. It's a book I adored as a child.

(Have you ever done that? It's kind of amazing, isn't it - how much books can change between your decades-old remembrance and your adult rereading. I can't wait until one of these tiny late-Gen Y-ers goes back and reads the Harry Potter series a decade later.)

Anyway, the book I just finished reading is D'Aualaires' Book of Greek Myths, and it basically forms the foundation for everything I know about Greek mythology. It contains a huge variety of myths, all gorgeously illustrated.


(I remember trying to sketch the illustrations from the book myself and producing a fair imitation of Artemis. The book, incidentally, was passed to me and my sister by our mother; we later came across an old sketch pad of hers that included an excellent rendition of Helen of Troy.)

It is hard to overstate how much this lovely book shaped my young mind. Years ago, the original book was flung across a room by my sister, which tore it apart; recently, hearing how much I had loved it, she bought me another copy - so I got to read it again.

And since it's a book intended for children, there are parts that are really, really funny now. The story of the Minotaur is probably my favorite example:

But Queen Pasiphaƫ was so taken by the beauty of the bull that she persuaded the king to let it live. She admired the bull so much that she ordered Daedalus to construct a hollow wooden cow, so she could hide inside it and enjoy the beauty of the bull at close range.

And the illustration is of Pasiphaƫ sitting inside the wooden cow, peeking over the top of it and just looking at the nice bull. Hello, nice bull! How are you? And then, it's so weird how Poseidon is all mad and makes her miraculously pregnant with the half-man-half-bull monster somehow!

Also, this hand-waving of Zeus and his many affairs is pretty funny:

Zeus loved Hera dearly, but he was also fond of rocky Greece. He often sneaked down to earth in disguise to marry mortal girls. The more wives he had, the more children he would have, and all the better for Greece! All his children would inherit some of his greatness and become great heroes and rulers.

AWESOME. Fellas, definitely try this line (do not try this line) the next time your lady catches you stepping out on her. "I love you, sweetie, I do - but if we ever want this nation to prosper, it simply must be populated with my offspring!"

But the book is still a fantastic read. Here are a few more observations from this time around:

- My favorite story is still that of Melampus, the hero who could talk to animals. He gets his power in repayment for a good deed, and unlike so many Greek heroes, he never experiences that whole hubris/fall from grace thing. (He totally overcharges a king for saving his daughters from madness, though. Wikipedia suggests the women were dangerous, but the D'Aualaires describe them as more embarrassing than anything else; all they do in the book is run around mooing and shouting, "We are cows! We are cows!" So I guess we could chalk that up to Melampus taking advantage of the king's pride.)

- My other favorite story as a kid, the tale of Selene and Endymion, is just creepy now. If it happened today, Endymion would write a tell-all book, Roofied by the Moon.

- People remember Heracles' immense strength, but I had forgotten how clever he is. Over the course of his 12 labors, he had to figure out how to kill any number of strange beasts that revived in unusual ways, he figured out how to use water power to do one of his tasks for him, he understood the implications of capturing one of Artemis' sacred hinds and never loses patience while pursuing the creature, and he tricks a Titan. He basically never screws up - all the trouble in his life comes from jealous interlopers.

- The story of Jason and the Argonauts is like the Real World/Road Rules All-Star Reunion Challenge of Greek myths. Everyone is there. Sure, Heracles is there! Two winged children of the wind, why not? Oh, and Orpheus is there too! ... I know I said he was torn apart by Menaeds, but that was later on!


Anyway, if you would like a beautifully illustrated, squeaky-clean retelling of a ton of Greek myths, this is your book. I'm so happy I have a copy again - thank you, Katie!

(All images come from this site.)

10.04.2009

The new gig

Well, that wasn't so bad.

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you probably know that after two months of unemployment, I got a new job! I've been there for three weeks now. My title is either Creative Writer or Copywriter - but the gist is, I'm the new Girl Who Writes Things What Needs Writin'.

My new employer is a local company called Pure Romance. If you're not from Cincinnati, you might not know much about Pure Romance - they're in the business of home parties, like Pampered Chef or Sil-whatsit, but they sell a line of products that some people would describe as "relationship aids." (Actually, some people would prefer not to talk about them at all, thank you very much.) Massage oils, lubricants, bedroom accessories - "those" parties, as a consultant might tell you. (It's a popular phrase among consultants, and it's easy to see why: It allows discussion of the subject without any potentially disquieting words, and it feels conspiratorial. You want to be invited to one of "those" parties.)

The response to my new employer has pretty much fallen into two categories: "Oh? ... Oh. Whoa." or "That is awesome!" As you can imagine, I fall into the second camp. I can't wait to use it as a small-talk point at a party.

So far, it's interesting work. Each Pure Romance consultant basically runs her own franchise - everyone buys the standard product line from corporate, but they can choose to offer additional discounts or incentives for hosting a party. There are also optional marketing materials, like postcards and brochures, that can be purchased. So that means that I might write a postcard intended to be sent to Pure Romance customers, and then I could turn around and write a business article about how the postcard could be beneficial to a consultant's business.

(So the work is interesting, but probably not as interesting as some people imagine.)

The new office building:


The new desk:

"Usually reserved and task-oriented ..."


Kelly Hudson
View my personality report

Hey, it's another one of those personality tests! This one is the DISC Assessment, and it seems like it gave me an accurate result: C/I, Cautious/Inspiring.

As a C/I, I like facts, details, and interacting with others. I also enjoy "witty humor," and my value to a team is as a "deep thinker and able communicator."

Anyone else ever taken this test?

9.19.2009

Brought to you by the letter "Arrr"


Avast, mateys! Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! And in honor of this auspicious occasion, I'll be dredgin' up some o' me favorite pirate jokes from Davy Jones' locker! Read on, ye scurvy dogs!





Mateys, had ye heard about the new pirate corn?

Aye, I hear ye can buy it for a buck an ear.


Why couldn't the wee pirate go see the movie?

Because it were rated Arrr.


And why were it rated Arrr?

Because of all the booty.


What be a pirate's favorite socks?

His arrr-gyles.


And what be his favorite subjects in school?

Arrr-chitecture and arrr-t.


If a pirate be wishin' to impress the lasses with his finery, what be his designer o' choice?

Arrr-mani.


And finally, what be a pirate's favorite fast-food restaurant?

Arrr-by's?

Uh, no, dude, Long John Silver's. Jeez, that one was a gimme!


What be your favorite pirate joke, mateys? Post it in the comments or face walkin' the plank!

8.29.2009

I can be anything

I was going to title this post "Heaven Just Got a Little More Reading Rainbow," because I read too much Videogum, but then I decided people might think LeVar Burton had died or something. (And then I went to Videogum and discovered they posted this story under the title "Heaven Just Got a Little More Reading Rainbow," and a few commenters were like, "Whew, I thought LeVar Burton died!" So, I win? I guess?)

Of course, what actually happened was that yesterday marked the last new episode of Reading Rainbow. It's been on the air for 26 years, which means that my sister, who is just two years younger than me, has never lived in a world without Reading Rainbow. (It also means that Burton hosted the show all throughout his Star Trek: The Next Generation days - do you think he ever showed up at the RR studio all out of breath, still wearing his visor and his Starfleet uniform? Because that would be awesome.)

Anyway, even though I don't think I ever actually read any of the books recommended on the show, I have fond memories of it because it was all about great it is to read. Reading really is the best, you guys! Don't tell me you never wanted to turn into a cartoon astronaut like the girl in the opening credits:



(My guess is that while almost nobody remembers a specific episode of the show, everybody remembers the opening credits. Maybe they could just play that clip for half an hour a day.)

I was probably not Reading Rainbow's target audience, because I always knew that reading was amazing. So maybe I'm overstating things when I say that yesterday, we lost a powerful tool in the quest to teach children to use their imaginations. (I hope I'm overstating things, anyway.)

But still, it's nice to keep this in mind: We can go anywhere. We can be anything.

8.09.2009

Cincinnati: More exciting than NYC

The city skyline sparkles below the top deck at the Mount Adams Pavilion, where the Milford High School class of 1999 is having its 10-year reunion. The lovely sight causes a sudden wave of emotion to wash over me. (Maybe the $2 Miller Lites had something to do with it, too.)

I turn to my old classmate Janet, who moved away for college and never came back. "You know - it's exciting living here."

"Yeah?" she says. Janet lives in New Jersey, probably no more than a half-hour train ride from one of the most incredible cities in the world. I'm not sure I can really convey to her the type of excitement Cincinnati offers. Especially not with those Miller Lites stunting my vocabulary. But I try.

"It's like ... it's like we're constantly on the verge of something really great. It's amazing seeing it happen." Janet smiles, and I decide that's enough boosterism for one night.

But seriously, guys. Think of how much this city has grown and changed in the past five or six years. When I started working downtown on an evening shift in 2003, the streets and Fountain Square were empty. I often got dinner from the vending machine just to avoid the ghost-town feel outside. The Main Street bar district was still the primary reason to visit Over-the-Rhine.

(And the other interns and I met every Tuesday at Inn The Wood for 50-cent draft night. And then Inn The Wood was razed. So there is that.)

And I know that a certain local issue is leading to a lot of talk right now (and not just in Cincinnati) about how resistant to change we still are - and those people have a point. But from my (admittedly very limited) perspective, we've come a long way in a shockingly short time.

What will this city look like when MHS '99 has its 20th reunion? I don't know, but finding out is going to be really exciting.

7.16.2009

"Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" as reviewed by otters

"OMG it's starting it's starting HARRY POTTER EEEEEEEEE!!!"



"Wait, Tom Felton can act now?"



"Oh, Harry and Ginny - so romantic!"
"Really? I've always preferred Harry with that weird blonde. You know, Draco."



"Look, Mom! I'm an Inferius!"



"DUMBLEDORE! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"



*yawn* "Man, it's late. I'm getting too old for this."

7.12.2009

Tiny ice cream!

How adorable is this?

7.10.2009

Laid off!


Hey, all. If you follow my updates on Twitter or Facebook, you already know the news. Yesterday was my last day at CiN Weekly.

(It was actually everybody's last day at CiN Weekly. It was even CiN Weekly's last day at CiN Weekly. The publication will continue under the name Metromix, a change we knew about for at least a month. We just thought we'd be around to work on it.)

This was my first job out of college, and I spent six great years working with some wonderful people. I'm going to miss seeing them every day. (Amber and I joked that we'd have to get webcams and videoconference every day so we could still talk to each other.)

It's funny. I have never in my life truly had to look for a real, adult job. I got the CiN Weekly gig at the end of an internship at the Enquirer, which I got by just bringing a bunch of clips in to the news editor. (I got the impression people who actually wanted to be copy editors were few and far between.) I'm lucky to have a huge support network of family and friends who know how this dance goes. My inbox has had a steady stream of good thoughts and even a few job postings.

So buck up, guys! I'm gonna be just fine! Especially if people keep buying me drinks, like they did last night.

On second thought, nobody buy me any more drinks. I was hurting this morning.

More later, including (possibly) how social media turned our pity party at Arthur's into what was really an incredible night.

(Photo by Gina.)

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