The case against The Big Bang Theory
The show, not the theory. I'm sure it's a perfectly good theory. Too bad it's got this crap show named after it now.
All right, full disclosure time: I only made it about 30 seconds past the opening credits of the show. Maybe it gets really awesome afterward. But here's what I saw before then:
- David From Roseanne and Some Other Guy go into a waiting room, where David From Roseanne obnoxiously solves Sassy Black Receptionist's unfinished crossword clues for her. You know, because nerds are know-it-alls. It turns out they are in a sperm bank for people with high IQs. Sassy Black Receptionist gives the nerds forms to fill out, but Other Guy chickens out, and they leave sheepishly. You know, because nerds take everything too seriously.
- Apartment building, scene of the most dramatic part of the show: the elevator is broken! Why? Anyway, Cute Blonde is moving in, and the nerds talk about her loudly and obliviously in front of her open door. You know, because nerds have no social skills. They make awkward introductions, then beat a retreat to their own apartment.
- But David From Roseanne vetoes their plan to watch Battlestar Galactica with the commentary and goes to invite Cute Blonde to lunch. (Frankly, I'm with Other Guy on this one.) Despite DFR's stammering references to colon cleansing and his failure to actually say, "So why not come over and eat with us" (you know, because nerds can't talk to women - you know, because nerds are always guys), she eventually gets the gist and accepts the invitation.
- Credits. Science-y cartoon stuff over a They Might Be Giants song, natch.
- Back in Casa de Nerd. Cute Blonde is admiring Other Guy's easel full of pages and pages of equations, which nerds do in their spare time. OG though initially slow on the uptake (just like a nerd!), has finally figured out the benefits of having CB in his apartment and is proud to show off. DFR counters with his own easel o' equations. CB compares them both to Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind.
- I turn off the TV in disgust. Actually, I unplug the computer's A/V output cables in disgust, because I'm watching the show through my laptop. But you get the picture.
And there you have it, folks. If this sounds like your kind of show, it is apparently on CBS.